There's no afterlife waiting for my sorry ass.and I'm just here. I know you're not up there, looking down on me.seeing everything I do. As nice as a fucking cloud house sounds right about now. I know there's no golden house sitting on a fluffy white cloud where you're waiting to reunite with me. But most of all, I hate that I'm so fucking scared of dying that I somehow, deep down.whether I admit it or not.prefer this to being dead. I don't know why I can't throw a belt over my fucking door and just end it all. ' I'm sorry I don't know what I'm doing anymore.
